Saturday, April 30, 2011


L.E.S. Jewels Discovers Water

Today in a very mellow , hipsteresque  Tompkins Square Park , a calm , intelligible  L.E.S. Jewels told us that the other day  when Cochise found him barfing his guts out over a Tompkins Square Park toilet bowl ( most of the vomit he claims  missed and embelished the already stained , foul smelling wall and floor) he chided Jewels to slow it down . Cochise said "Man ,I pace myself so I don't get sick " . On this day in the T.S.P. mens room Jewels  decided to heed the advice  of Cochise , claiming forcefully"Cochise knows his shit".

Jewels intends  to slow it down but he also knows that he will have  to contend with the shakes during this taper down process  . He reasons that it might be best if he didn't drink vodka in the daytime . For the taper down he intends to swill "Earth Quake High Gravity Lager" as his daily dose to get him straight .He also decided that for the first time in 20 years he would try drinking some water . He said that the first 2 glasses of the strange , tasteless fluid  made him puke  but he got used to it .He says the plan is working and truly he did seem sort of sober , we could understand him and he wasn't bobin' and weavin' much. For now he says that he'll have a little vodka in the evenings to ease him through the night .

Jewels also confirmed this afternoon that he has asked Sid "the Nazi" to perform another marriage ceremony in the rites of Odin( see the "Wedding of Amy and Jewels" here on this blog) .This time the ceremony will be for Jewels and his new girlfriend  Lucy ... when she gets out of detox .

Jewels says he got an $1100 check recently (from the tax payers?) and this money and Lucy's wealth will get them an apartment . There he'll be able to get staight , clean-up and prepare to get a job . Jewels says that he has a food handling permit . He wants to get a job preparing food .We said nothing about the open sores and hep C.

With that $1100 from the NYPD class action lawsuit to which he was a party, parasite Jewels could get a room for about a month or so in another state. Meanwhile, as he "gets straight," he can be seen every night sprawled out somewhere along Avenue A.

Mark my words: If Lucy reconnects with him, it will be the death of her!!

[By the way, I KNEW you'd be back, Bob....]
True ,oh so true!
Bob, I think the Avenue A Bistro Cafe is hiring a bartender, and they don't seem to have very high standards. Sounds like Jewels could get a job there. :)
Anon thanx I'll pass your tip on to Jewels when I see him .
I will have a veggie burger no ketchup, fries, Diet coke, and a side order of hepatitis C and some onion rings. Do you deliver?
What is your fascination with this man?

Are you gay or something?

Seems like it...
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